I looked out my friend's window as her 12-year-old chopped wood in the backyard. I wasn't sure what was more surprising, that he was helping without being asked or that my friend was allowing her son to use an axe, apparently without undue anxiety on her part. He entered the house, removing his boots and gloves before placing a couple of logs in the wood stove. Why was her son taking on adult tasks when I could barely get my own to clean their rooms? “He must need help,” my father responded nonchalantly when I described the scene to him later that evening. I needed the help too, I decided, and I needed to figure out how to get it. It's easy for household chores to drop off our to-do list when everything from swim team homework to piano lessons fights for our limited family time. However, even if we think that getting the child to do housework will be more difficult than doing it ourselves, housework can be just as useful as any extracurricular activity for our children's social and emotional growth. Experts agree that household chores can give children confidence and self-discipline, encouraging them to see themselves as an indispensable part of the family. Luckily, even a two or three year old can start simple jobs. After many years and careful study, I now have a teenager who often takes out the trash without being asked and a four-year-old who is almost solely responsible for feeding our cat. Here are some tips I've found helpful along the way: 1) Give your child choices. Children like to feel like they have choices. If they are able to choose from a variety of tasks, they are more likely to perform them happily. A child might prefer to empty the... center of the paper... finish homework, play Minecraft or watch TV." "As soon as you're done with the housework we can go visit your friends." "As soon as you're done with the your chores, I'll be ready to start making those biscuits we were talking about." The use of "as soon as" places the responsibility of carrying out household chores under the child's control, even if it makes him understand that it is mum or dad who is leading the show. In these scenarios, the parent doesn't care whether or not the child gets to watch TV or eat biscuits. If the child wants to play Minecraft, he'll get his bed made 'vacuum cleaner in the living room. If not, the child knows that it is his fault. Whether your children are babies or teenagers, these little tips can help you transform household chores from a battleground to a regular part of the day...