She's Come Undone: Self Discovery In She's Come Undone, Wally Lamb emphasizes the importance of self-discovery in one's life. Dolores has several epiphanies throughout the novel, including the realization that all of her failed relationships are not her fault alone. She discovers that she is worth loving and is capable of surviving on her own. With each self-discovery, Dolores learns to love herself a little more and blame herself a little less. Dolores' first realization is subconscious. Right before attempting suicide he calls his mother's childhood friend, Geneva (Lamb 249). This is a cry for help and is his first step towards healing. Dolores' next discovery comes after a long period of therapy, paid for by Geneva. Dolores' therapist, Dr. Shaw, attempts to rewrite her childhood from when she was in the womb. She takes on her mother's role (268). As her negative childhood memories are replaced by positive ones, Dolores gains a new sense of self-worth and confidence. He loses all his extra weight (269). Dolores channels her energy into creative activities like Etch-A-Sketching rather than self-destructive behaviors. She eventually manages to leave Dr. Shaw's care and go into the real world to fend for herself (283). Perhaps Dolores leaves Dr. Shaw's care too soon. Shortly after getting her apartment she starts dating Dante. Ashamed of her past, she creates an imaginary life story for herself. He lives in a lie all the time he lives with Dante. He writes to his grandmother and falsely describes his marriage. When he catches Dante sleeping with one of his students, he finally wakes up. She realizes that no man is worth the pain of losing her identity, and she also realizes that her identity cannot be defined by the man she is with. After her grandmother's death she finally reveals her true identity to Dante. With frustration and anger she tells him all the events of her past, from weight problems to rape, to the time spent in a mental institution. She feels completely free for the first time. Dolores' final phase of self-discovery comes with her relationship with Thayer. She realizes that he is what she has truly wanted her entire life. It's the first time he finds luck and happiness in love.