IndexIntroductionWhy is it important to forgive? (essay)Works CitedIntroduction“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the characteristic of the strong." (Gandhi, 1958). Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay "To Forgive" is to Love. This statement has been analyzed and studied over the years to achieve some form of clarification. Forgiveness is intended to bring greater overall satisfaction to a relationship. This is highlighted by Braithwaite's studies on forgiveness as a mechanism for improving relational effort and decreasing negative conflicts between partners. The global dynamics of conflict tactics have been examined by conducting research on measures such as the Forgiveness Scale. This scale showed results of a positive relationship with measures of dispositional forgiveness, perspective taking, and agreeableness. The results therefore show that there is undoubtedly a connection between forgiveness and love. This connection along with the importance of forgiveness is discussed in my essay. I believe that forgiveness is an important aspect of everyone's life. I know in some religions it is highly emphasized, but even as a non-religious person I can understand its value and importance in relationships and your mental health. Forgiveness is not just for the person you are forgiving, but it is also for yourself. It takes the emotional distress you have been going through to help you get rid of it. Sometimes it's really hard to forgive someone, especially when you think they've done something unforgivable. Sometimes it's easy to forgive someone when it's something tiny they did wrong. But in my case, this person was forgiven over and over again when he hurt me. I feel like right now they don't deserve my forgiveness if they continue to choose to do evil over and over again. Why is it important to forgive? (wise) Holding a grudge is not healthy. I've generally never been one to hold a grudge for very long. Although in this particular case I held a grudge and it's because I'm hurt. I don't feel like I've been treated fairly. I feel like I've been wronged and it's just not right. This article couldn't have come at a better time. For the last two months I have been having difficulties with a friend. I feel like he's forgotten me. Every time I try to message her, it gets ignored for days. I try to call her and the answering machine goes directly. I sent her a message on Facebook and it was "seen" but received no response. It honestly really hurts my feelings. He makes me feel like he doesn't consider me important enough to spend time with, or even send me a short reply. I'm usually one to let things slide. When she leaves me and makes plans with other people, I just say something like "well, let me know you don't want to go out next time" and she's just off the hook. He always apologizes a million times, but your apology means nothing to me if you keep hurting me over and over again. This resentment makes me frustrated, angry and sad. I am frustrated with his lack of communication. I'm angry because he doesn't even try to talk to me and thinks it's okay to ignore me for days or weeks (even though he can contact me when he needs something). I'm sad because I feel like I'm losing a friend. Holding this grudge makes me emotional and affects other relationships in my life. The other night my boyfriend tried to invite some of our friends over, but I was really upset about the situation and ended up going to bed. It affects the relationship between my boyfriend and my other friends because I'm angry. Typically, when you areangry, you just don't want to deal with others, even if they aren't the ones making you angry. I didn't feel like communicating with anyone or telling them what was wrong. I just wanted to go to sleep while everyone else had fun. It's not good for me. From your point of view, I understand that you have some problems with your memory. He was in a car accident a while ago and it really affected his memory. Maybe he simply forgets to answer me. I'm more of a morning person while she's a night person, so I might just contact her at the wrong time of day. Maybe she's mad at me about something and is afraid to say it out loud. I know it's like that sometimes. He is afraid of conflict just like me and will avoid it if he can. She is also more emotionally unstable than me. I can't think of anything he would be mad at me for in particular, other than the fact that I don't come as often as I used to. He could still come to my house if he wanted to, and communication is a two-way street. I'm not sure if I hurt his feelings either way, but if so, I would like him to get back to me and let me know. I also understand that she just started a new relationship and is still in that "honeymoon" phase where she wants to spend as much time as possible with her new boyfriend. He lives two hours away from her and her cell phone service isn't good where she lives, so that might have something to do with her lack of communication as well. I feel like without this grudge I hold against her, it would be like a weight off my shoulders. I don't want to stay mad at her but I can't help it. I keep holding onto these angry feelings because I feel like I'm being treated unfairly and have been for too long, so it's hard to just forgive and forget. Forgiving her would affect my communication (ch. 1) with others in the future by helping to alleviate my emotional distress about the situation, allowing me to communicate more easily with others. If I forgive her, my attitude (ch. 2) toward situations like this will change, as will my impression (ch. 3) of others who might. For example, maybe if another friend of mine tends to ignore me for a while, instead of being angry and holding a grudge like I am now, I will have more empathy (ch. 4) for him and be more understanding (ch. 5) about where they come from when I found myself in this situation before. If I were to communicate with another person who put me in a situation similar to the one I'm in now, the best way to give them a response would be with an extended “I” language message (ch. 6). Instead of saying things like "well, you never texted me back" or "you don't talk to me anymore" you should say something along the lines of "I'm a little upset that we don't talk as much anymore. Something's wrong and What can I do to fix it?” With this response I feel that the other person would feel less attacked or threatened and would feel more comfortable explaining their situation to me. You can usually tell from a person's nonverbal communication (ch. 7) how they feel without even saying it Nonverbal communication is not present through phone calls, text messages, and Facebook chats (which is how I tried to contact my friend because I can't show up at her house unannounced), so it's even harder to say this. that a person feels. This means that you really have to describe what you feel and why you feel it to solve a problem. If I experience this with another person in the future, I would not want this to turn into a destructive conflict (ch. 8) as it has. with my friend. It's really weakening our relationship (ch. 9) and I feel it's partly due to my stubbornness in trying to contact her again after the last time she didn'treplied to my message. I feel like I shouldn't be the one to keep trying to make contact. If I run into this situation again, I'll know that after some time has passed and I haven't heard from them again, it might be time for me to reach out again to see what's going on. I feel like at this point my relationship with my friend is fading away (ch. 10) and it's really sad. We had a friendship-based intimacy (ch. 11) where we were so close, almost like voluntary (fictitious) relatives (ch. 12) and could say anything to each other. Knowing what I know now about this conflict, if I ran into this with someone else, I think I would handle it a little differently. This friendship might just be close. I think the fundamental tension technique that applies most to this situation is autonomy vs connection. Maybe my friend just needs time to herself, and maybe I'm having a hard time connecting with her, or I'm too pushy for a response. Our levels of connection and autonomy may be slightly different. Maybe my need to be in touch is higher than hers, and she doesn't see a problem in not contacting someone for a while, while I on the other hand do and take it as a sign that she doesn't like me anymore. I feel like I'm taking more of a part in the sharing tasks of the relationship than her. So far he hasn't maintained the relationship over the last few weeks, while I have tried to communicate the problem and how I felt. I don't usually have a high level of openness, but in this case I have been very open about my feelings and what I feel is wrong, it seems like she doesn't care anymore. Regarding social penetration theory, it states that “as relationships develop, interpersonal communication moves from relatively superficial, non-intimate levels to deeper, more intimate levels” (Griffin, 2011), which is completely true for our relationship. We talked about things in great detail, told each other everything and were always there for each other. I don't know what happened. Even when we stopped hanging out as often, I texted her all the time, we could talk about our problems over text, and we had genuine, deep conversations. It's sad to think that it might be over now. I'm not sure he wants to talk to me anymore. But personally at this point, I really don't think he does, otherwise he would have contacted me already. Social exchange theory “explains how we feel about a relationship with another person based on our perception of: The balance between what we put into the relationship and what we get out of it, the type of relationship we deserve, the chances of having a better relationship with someone else. (Straker, 2010) As far as social exchange theory goes, I really feel like I don't deserve this type of relationship. I feel like I deserve a friend who wants to be there for me, who wants to talk to me, and who will try to make plans with me instead of me doing all the work. The exchange rate in our relationship is definitely not equal. I'm usually the one calling, asking out, making plans, texting, and will always have to go to his house if he decides he wants to hang out. It's not fair and it's not what I deserve in a friendship. I feel like I've been replaced by her new friend and her boyfriend. She also made a post on Facebook that she was grateful for both of us, but not for me. Posts about how much he loves and cares for both of us, but never me. I don't want to be the last resort and I don't want to feel left out. If he doesn't feel the need to put time and effort into our friendship, perhaps our friendship should end. Please note: this is just an example. Get a custom paper from our expert writers now. Get a Custom Essay Conclusion After, 4(1), 58–69.