The first year of college or university is challenging enough, especially when you travel miles away from home to study abroad in a foreign country, not to mention roommate conflicts. However, such conflicts are inevitable. That being said, conflict doesn't necessarily mean a terrible thing because you will eventually grow and I speak from personal experience. This is because by dealing with conflicts between roommates you will learn the skills and knowledge on how to deal with such problems in the future. Say no to plagiarism. Get a tailor-made essay on "Why Violent Video Games Shouldn't Be Banned"? Get an original essay My story begins with an Indonesian roommate. Even though I am Malaysian with Chinese origins, we speak similar languages ​​and there are some similarities in our culture (between Malaysian and Indonesian culture). Because of this I thought we could live together peacefully without conflict, but I guess I was wrong. I always consider myself a self-disciplined person. After cooking and finishing the meal, I have a habit of cleaning the pans and kitchen utensils I have used. Yet, my roommate tends to leave dishes and things in the sink after he finishes eating and sometimes doesn't even wash it after a couple of days. At first, when I saw the dirty and greasy cutlery my roommate used, I helped him wash it. However, he seemed to take it for granted and didn't seem to get the hint. Sometimes he would also leave food scraps and cockroaches would appear. Even worse, the sink would be filled with giant bowls filled with leftovers of soggy leftovers that smell bad especially in the summer. However, I decided to leave them there and so whenever I see unwashed and greasy cutlery or plates, I would just leave them in the sink. Sometimes he even used my cup because his cup was in the bowl. In fact, even though I secretly hate him for not doing the dishes and for the fact that he used my cup and left it in the sink without washing it, I was numb to such a scene because I had this stereotype in my mind. At first place there is lack of awareness of cleanliness among Indonesians. I thought I would put up with it and chose not to confront him about this issue. Until one day, it was around 9 at night, when I was studying in my room. My roommate knocked on my door and came in. Suddenly, he confronted me and asked why I hadn't helped him wash the dishes for the past week. At that moment, I felt it was absurdly ridiculous. I felt that just because I helped him wash the dishes at first didn't mean I had an obligation to wash his dishes and I told him what I thought. I also told him that we Malaysians usually have our own cup and don't share it with other people. The next thing I know, his response infuriated me. This is what he said. “We currently live together so you have to be aware of your surroundings, even if those are my dishes you have to wash them if you see them because washing dishes is a team effort. Furthermore, it is common for Indonesians to share cups and plates. In Indonesia, no one will want to be your roommate if you are so calculating and worried about such trivial things. Also, it is normal for us Indonesians not to wash the dishes and leave them in the sink until the sink is full” Hearing his explanation, I was stunned. I was so angry but at the same time I didn't want our conflict to be destructive. An awkward silence followed. It made me stop and think. In Malaysia we are taught to be self-disciplined and washing our own dishes is in fact common sense. Similar to the value that has been instilled in the Japanese ever sincethey are young, which is usually translated as “Do not disturb or annoy the people around you”. I also hold this value and since we are now studying in Japan, I also expected him to know. However, this was not the case. I told him that we Malaysians tend to be more considerate towards others and don't like to cause trouble for others. Also, we Malaysians think that sharing our cups with the other person is like sharing a toothbrush, so it is for hygienic reasons that we think it is not appropriate. At that moment I was actually quite worried whether he would be provoked because this was clearly a conflict of values ​​as the way I told him was actually quite harsh and I was slightly angry so the words coming out of me could be unpleasant . I thought he would be offended but instead of losing his temper, he apologized and said sorry. He then explained that in Indonesia it is normal for someone to leave used dishes in the sink and not consider them dirty or unhygienic. They have a habit of washing dishes only when the sink is full. Furthermore, it is also common for other people under the same roof to wash another person's dishes if he sees them filling the sink and therefore he took it for granted and expected me to do the same, but he was not aware that in Malay culture , we are taught to wash our own dishes and it is rude to let other people wash our dishes. He apologized again and then told me he would change his habit and be more aware because he would no longer use my cup or leave dishes in the sink for more than a day. I also apologized because I didn't tell him ahead of time, which I ended up talking to him about in a minor way and our friendship drifted day by day because I was secretly angry. I also told him that I felt bad because in my mind I associated it with my stereotype that Indonesians are dirty. I also told him that I would remind him in the future if he forgot to do the dishes again. We reached a consensus that it was simply a cultural difference and we both smiled and couldn't stop laughing for the next three minutes. Now our friendship has become stronger and we have finally built stronger bonds. After this incident, I did some soul searching. First of all, the stereotype is the preconceived and simplified notion of the typical characteristics of a person or a group. Talking about why I had this stereotype that Indonesians are dirty it might be because when a few years ago I went to Batam Islands in Indonesia with my family during holidays and I remembered that the streets were dirty and many people were poorly groomed and he looked shaggy . Furthermore, as far as I could remember, the toilets were dirty and smelly and such a sight left a bad impression on me and further shaped my stereotype towards Indonesians. However, I was wrong because stereotypes ignore individual differences, and stereotypes act as an assumption that certain culture-specific information applies to every member of that particular cultural group. I also realized that the concept of hygiene is also influenced by culture. It may be common for Indonesians to share their cups and it is perfectly normal for them to leave dishes in the sink, but I have realized that such cultural pattern is not inherently right or wrong, and this is known as relativity of cultural behavior. Furthermore, instead of avoiding and putting up with the problem, I think I should have approached him sooner. This is because I have always tried to avoid problems that could lead to conflict, known as style of.